Tue, 07/12/2016 - 4:01pm Douglas1
Corn Patch Chronicles
I found the website of the Enterprise after I was told my column of last week was there. I was tickled to see a terrorist (to doves) sitting there in full hunt regalia with his faithful companion, Fox, the Wonder Lab, by his side.
Fox has gone on to glory now. I had him cremated and scattered his ashes on the duck pond where we spent so many enjoyable afternoons. I don’t know if there will be any dogs in heaven but if there are, Fox will be waiting for me at the gate and I will be glad to see him. It is amazing how attached we can become to an animal. I guess it is in our DNA.
It seems that all I have been doing lately is going to funerals and it has brought me to be somewhat depressed as I realized I had only two friends left and also that there are not many dove and duck shoots left for me. I therefore vowed to enjoy each one, both friends and duck hunts, as a gift from the Creator.
Speaking of hunting, I spent many a fractious hunting season trying to elude the game warden. I am scared to death of them for some reason, and when a certain individual married a girl from just up the road and then became a warden, he made it his life’s work to stop all illicit hunting out here in our vicinity. It was war! He made our life miserable until he tried to stop his Pa-in-law, Mr. Lonnie, from killing all the hawks and owls that flew over this region.
Mr. Lonnie had yard chickens, pigeons, and guineas galore and be hanged if he was going to allow a raptor to catch one of his birds. He trapped and poisoned hawks and owls by the hundreds. His freezer was literally stuffed with them and when the erstwhile warden tried to reason with Pa-in-law and that he was committing a Federal crime, Mr. Lonnie laid down the law of eminent guinea domain to him and that was that. Warden Caves decided discretion was the better part of valor and moved on to other regions to make a name for himself.
If you ever see Warden Caves, (ret.), you can ask about the duck hunt where he almost got us. And one dove shoot on a foggy morning when he missed me but got my 5 gallon bucket of birds. I still smile every time I think about that one. He turned out not to be such a bad guy after all. He just wanted us to show a little respect for the game laws and him.
On another note, my brother planted a sweet corn patch and when asked about it he replied that he and his boy were going to gather it. I kept a check on it and when I saw it was going to the bad and they had only gathered one bucket full, I started helping myself because it is a mortal sin to let good sweet corn go to waste. My Mother would have a hissy fit or a conniption if she knew there was corn a wasting! I’m not exactly sure about the definition of conniption or hissy fit but I can tell you from personal experience you did not want to be around if she had either one!
Today is July 4th and I am about to cook my favorite meal of all; fresh pork side salted, peppered, floured and fried, fresh creamed sweet corn, sliced homegrown ‘maters, jiffy corn bread, and sweet tea. Once I get it on the table, just leave me alone and let me enjoy myself after I give thanks to the Creator for allowing me to be born an American and to have lived all my life in what was the greatest nation that ever existed but that has been changed, as President Obama promised, into a quagmire of corruption from the bottom to the top. He did not start it. He did expedite it.
If you are a small business person, a taxpayer, or simply a loyal American, how does it feel to have become a peon, a servant, to a totally corrupt government that is not only in control of our lives, but is also out of control?
And did you know that FBI Director James Comey gave the Clinton’s a clean slate when he was prosecutor in the Whitewater scandal when Bill Clinton was Governor of Arkansas, and again when then President Clinton pardoned Mark Rich and received a half million dollar gift from Rich’s wife to the Clinton Library! Oh, Yeah! Comey’s relationship with the Clinton’s goes way back.
Where is Thomas Paine when you need him?
See the Wednesday, July 13, 2016 edition.