Ken Vickers, Cracklin' Bread

Ken Vickers

Cracklin’ Bread

What A Week
‘Yes, I do and thank God for it and I ain’t been outside this state in 20 years and I sure as shooting ain’t been to California where these thieves charged 1500 bucks worth of something. How they got from New York to California so fast I’ll never- oh, yes. Now I see the airplane tickets. Never mind.’
I have not had such a trying week in many a year. 
First, I was attempting to renew my broker license for real estate and according to the Georgia Real Estate Commission website I had more than enough hours but the site kept saying I did not have the right hours. 
I decided to call the Commission and so I did. 
I called again, and again, and again, and again, and again, trying to reach a live person and never did.  
I have not been so frustrated at government since the white half of Barack Obama was re-elected President (I will not say anything disparaging about the black half of Mr. Obama because that part of him is off limits, so all you liberals relax. But, being white myself, I can give his white half the devil if I want to. And I will whenever whitey deserves it.)
It took two days before I finally got through only to be told the courses I had taken were not approved by the Commission. “But I took them from the Georgia Realtor Online Education,” I whined. 
I might as well have been trying to convert Mohammed to Christianity. The lady suggested I call them and hung up.
So I called Georgia Realtor and was told the Commission was correct and the courses would not count but they had some new ones that would. 
I knew there was no need to argue so I just started taking the courses again. 
So now I am taking real estate tests again, and in the meantime my credit card had been hacked for the umpteenth time and a lady from Citicard called me. 
She started looking through all the crap on my Citi statement and asking questions like, “Are you sure you did not take a cab in Manhattan on the 25th?”
“No, I mean yes, I think.” “Alright, what did you buy in Caifornia on the 26th?” I said ‘lady are you an American?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Were you born and raised here?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Do I sound like I am from anywhere but South Georgia?’ ‘Well, you do have a charming southern accent.’ ‘Yes, I do and thank God for it and I ain’t been outside this state in 20 years and I sure as shooting ain’t been to California where these thieves charged 1500 bucks worth of something. How they got from New York to California so fast I’ll never- oh, yes. Now I see the airplane tickets. Never mind.’
We finally got it straight, I finished the real estate tests, and then went to get a new driver’s license. 
Holy Catfish.
Forewarned, I took a washtub full of info and needed most  it. 
Then they pretended to take my picture but gave me one on my license that is undoubtedly from the 10 Most Wanted list. 
I protested to have another one taken but to no avail because I swear I do not know the man on my license. 
If I ever get pulled over by the state patrol, I’m going straight to jail.
Government at all levels is too big, too expensive, not very helpful to the people they are supposed to be serving, and most of them don’t give a rip.
And the State of Georgia Driver License Division needs some new camera equipment, Nathan!
 
See page 3-A in the Wednesday, September 14, 2016 edition

The Douglas Enterprise

P.O. Box 750
Douglas, Georgia 31534

Phone: (912) 384-2323
Fax: (912) 383-0218